Disgrace On Your Face

In the wake of "The Incredible Shrinking Superpower" that is America, comes a social response to our economic woes.

Historical events like the World Wars, the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Reagan Years gave rise to numerous social phenomena like Aryan ideology and Euro-centrism, women joining the work force, the Hippie, the Black Panthers, and the tearing down of the Berlin Wall.

Now that we are well deep into the economic consequences of the U.S. starting the never-ending illegal War in Iraq, two terms of a Dumb-ass President, the serial collapse of national banks and sub-prime mortgages, inflated gas prices, and the dreary prospect of the remote chance of voting into office the dastardly dim duo, McCain and Palin, how are New Yorkers reacting?

Well in Brooklyn at least, namely neighborhoods like Park Slope and Williamsburg, for every over-priced condo that's erected, there are 3 or 4 lame ass bars, where hipsters can anesthetize with an $8 glass of wine. That's one of the reasons why we got out of that vicinity and purchased a home in a section of Brooklyn that will remain undisclosed. Gentrification will eventually hit there too (and we'll gladly reap the financial benefits from it), but I'd rather not expedite it by exposing it in this forum.

The other visible social act of regression I've noticed, much to my personal amusement, is the steady rise of the handlebar mustache on the mugs of 20-30-something year-old men. Yes, the handlebar stache is here and it's Queer. Now speaking from the perspective of an urban gent who has plead guilty on several occasions for my own fashion NOTS, it is with a sense of familiarity that I can spotlight this latest urban grooming violation.
Over the past year I've enjoyed seeing the hip-hop thugs, wiggas, and skater boys walk (or trying to walk) around with their pant waistlines down to their knees as if it looks good and NOT at all GAY!? I even enjoyed seeing straight guys wearing the "skinny" pants and still try to pull off masculinity.

But seriously guys, if you are not a cartoon villain or over 65 years old, there is simply no reason to adopt the handlebar mustache and not expect me to laugh my ass off. That is some funny sh*T! I saw it on the F train just this morning on my way to work.

My assumption here is that this latest collective rebellious grooming trauma is linked to the steady decline of our country's economic stability. If my thesis rings true, may I humbly submit the following prescription for what ales you:

1. Vote November 2008
   
2. Check out a mirror after reading this, then try to tell me it aint funny
3. If you're getting some, ask your bed-mate if they really like the stache and are not ashamed of you
4. If McCain and Palin are elected, then KEEP IT. We will all need a good laugh.